That's when you crack a 10am beer
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
