Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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