U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
