Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
