Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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