i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
