is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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