Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
