I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
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