Buhtt sex?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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