Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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