Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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