did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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