she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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