um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize