he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
