new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
