im about as happy as oj after his trial
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
