sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
