either way he was missing a nipple.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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