I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize