the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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