He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
