Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
