Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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