Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
