finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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