its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
