You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
