i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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