how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
