Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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