your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My balls are so social today.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
This toilet bowl is my home.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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