i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
