i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He shit in the fireplace
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
