i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
