Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
