Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
