She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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