I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
