so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
