I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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