if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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