I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
