He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
