Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
