what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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