I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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