dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
be right there i have to get my cape
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
