I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
