Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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