no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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