He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
