Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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