Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
