YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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