By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
