It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
