I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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